Gray to Bloomberg: Sell Central Park
Kirby Vining, Stronghold, nulliparaacnestis@gmail.com
DC’s Mayor Gray tries to persuade NYC’s Mayor Bloomberg to sell Central Park for development: a sardonic drama in one pathetic act of desperation. All names are real, but the action is fiction with a frightening resemblance to reality.
"Bloomberg here."
"Mike, it’s Vince Gray. How are you? Hey, buddy, it’s election year, and my main source of campaign funds just dried up – you know the story. But I got this great idea: sell parks! Whaddya think? All that green just wasted on young lovers and children playing in the grass, not paying a dime in taxes or rent. A waste, I tell you! Low-hanging fruit just waiting to be harvested. Whaddya think, Mike?"
(Aside, to an assistant: "They got some Tammany Hall thing down there, or is this guy on dope?"). (Gravely) . . . "Uh, you’re right, Vince, one has to keep an open mind about whatever is necessary for the people and city we govern."
"Mike, I got this great place here, McMillan Park, designed by the Olmsted firm that designed our National Mall and the Capitol grounds, that seems to have fallen into the wrong hands — mine . . . and I called because I realized you’ve got parks by the same group of guys — Central Park, Prospect Park, Morningside Park . . . they’re just apples waiting to fall off the tree and feed a campaign — yours! With a finder’s fee to your good friend who suggested it, of course! Whaddya think, Mike?"
(Aside to the assistant: "Change my number . . . this guy is an extraterrestrial.") "Vince, those parks have been city treasures for about a century, scene of some of the most memorable events in the lives of the people of our cities. But you’re right, there’s no tax revenue from them as things are now, but they’re important for — "
"Mike, I’m about to auction off McMillan Park to the highest bidder, whom I’ve already hand picked, and I’ll get back to you with more ideas like this when that’s done." (Both hang up).
"Mike, it’s Vince Gray. How are you? Hey, buddy, it’s election year, and my main source of campaign funds just dried up – you know the story. But I got this great idea: sell parks! Whaddya think? All that green just wasted on young lovers and children playing in the grass, not paying a dime in taxes or rent. A waste, I tell you! Low-hanging fruit just waiting to be harvested. Whaddya think, Mike?"
(Aside, to an assistant: "They got some Tammany Hall thing down there, or is this guy on dope?"). (Gravely) . . . "Uh, you’re right, Vince, one has to keep an open mind about whatever is necessary for the people and city we govern."
"Mike, I got this great place here, McMillan Park, designed by the Olmsted firm that designed our National Mall and the Capitol grounds, that seems to have fallen into the wrong hands — mine . . . and I called because I realized you’ve got parks by the same group of guys — Central Park, Prospect Park, Morningside Park . . . they’re just apples waiting to fall off the tree and feed a campaign — yours! With a finder’s fee to your good friend who suggested it, of course! Whaddya think, Mike?"
(Aside to the assistant: "Change my number . . . this guy is an extraterrestrial.") "Vince, those parks have been city treasures for about a century, scene of some of the most memorable events in the lives of the people of our cities. But you’re right, there’s no tax revenue from them as things are now, but they’re important for — "
"Mike, I’m about to auction off McMillan Park to the highest bidder, whom I’ve already hand picked, and I’ll get back to you with more ideas like this when that’s done." (Both hang up).
12 comments:
Little over dramatic
... Except that McMillan hasn't "been the scene of some of the most memorable events in the lives of the people" of DC since World War II when public access was closed off.
I don't think that the current developer's plan is perfect (though the most recent version is better than the last one was); but I would like MY child to have a chance to enjoy the space some time in his lifetime. Right now the site is inaccessible and unsafe, and it is going to take a lot of money to turn it into a useful public space and maintain it. The community has been "discussing" its fate for decades while it remains fallow, and I am seeing a pretty big push to stop the current development plan. Idealism is fine and dandy, but I think it is time for a bit of compromise. I am willing to work for specific, reasonable changes to the current plan and pressure the developer to follow Historic Preservation Board guidance... but as a long-time McMillan neighbor, I have no interest in stopping the process.
Amen! I have been working on this site with the community for almost 8 years and its time DC moved forward on this project! We have heard from the likes of Mr Kirby and Mr Norman along with the so called "friends of McMillan" who have done nothing but attempt to stop this development again! DC wake up and come together it time
Exactly Commiss, these same people want to see nothing done with the site out of some sense of idealism that is unrealistic. Plan now may not be perfect but it is time we move forward with this and stop thinking this site is going to be some giant vegetable garden
RE: Alex - "think it is time for a bit of compromise."
Exactly and I'm 100% in agreement with you! So how about this: Allocate 50% of the land for park and public use and get rid of those awful medical buildings on Michigan. It's that simple.
I'll bite the bullet (and I think 99% of other folks will too) on the pathetic EYA houses and the architecturally-uninspiring 3rd block grocery store/medical buildings. I mean, come on - X-shaped buildings? Really? But I would still - still! - be fine with them if you get rid of the buildings on the fourth block.
You might as well drop down that absolutely horrific City Center development on this site and call it a day. It's pathetic that this (http://envisionmcmillan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/SBA-427-Side-1.pdf) is acceptable for this piece of property. It's a giant middle finger to anyone who lives on North Cap.
For a space this special, there should be an international competition of ideas. Send a request for proposals to architectural schools, trade associations, artists, investors, historic and natural resource groups, etc. Cast as wide a net as possible.
Ask for cost-benefit analyses, then have a public process to select the best design.
Instead, the City pre-selected EYA, who gave at least $55k to Harry Thomas Jr and now we are having one Shirlington iteration after another shoved down our throats.
A competition of ideas, not this corrupt process.
Yeah, i have to say i agree with Paul and "Jameson on the Rocks" .... I'll compromise, but not to this extent. This is just an insult to the entire city. Lots of other developers would have killed for the opportunity to develop this land. Why on earth would DC just give it to a developer like EYA? It's really bizarre. Here's a tip: If you want to live in Rosslyn or Pentagon City (or shirlington or bethesda row or any number of suburban stip mall hell holes), move West. Give the finger to this VMG/EYA insult.
Jameson....and how do you expect to pay of all that park space if you don't want any office space or the grocery store. You sound as ridiculous as the rest of the NIMBY's...get real!
Oh Paul give me a break it's so special! it's an industrial waste land that had so trees on it! Give it up! It's time to BUILD BABY BUILD! Jobs, affordable housing, park space, grocery store, and urban development needs to happen. Now that you all bitched about the development and it didn't move; you'll be getting 6 million gallons of SHI* waste water stored there! So welcome to shitty smelling Bloomingdale now! Thanks Paul and the rest of your clan!
Todd what are you all replacing the medical office with?? furthermore, you fool DC but this out to bid...you just keep listen to that fool Tony Norman...it's not true! Wake up...are you under a rock? As far as the finger you know what you can do with that!
Stop with the bullshit. Everybody knows VMG was selected in 2007 by the Deputy Mayor's office from a short list of groups assembled by the NCRC... 5 development groups in total. Then NCRC because it was beset by problems on all sides (most notably from our then very corrupt city council), was dissolved wrapped into the Mayor's Office. To BE CLEAR was NOT open procurement. There was no RFP there was no solicitation.... show me the RFP, show me the bids....this should be FOIA. right? well, inconviently it doesn't exist. If you're going to call names (Barrie?) then cite your sources and stop blowing BS. McMillan has long been the subject of various "unsolicited" proposals to the government... VMG is just the one that succeeded (as of yet).
If you don't believe me just do a little research on http://www.bizjournals.com/washington/stories/2004/10/18/story5.html?page=all
Hey Barrie - when or where did I say I wanted to get rid of the grocery store or 'any' of the office space?
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